cosmic-cow

Exit Status 0

Thus does the Enemy seek to crush our spirit, for our souls are our most potent weapon.

- Adepti Mechanicus from the Amalanthians 9.41, 41st Millenium

I’ve taken a deep breath prior to the start of this article today, and it can be aptly wrapped up quite briefly, with the following error exception I wrote in Python 10 minutes ago:

burnout-clean.JPG

I haven’t been happy for quite some time, at least in the realm of my professional life (which has evidently bled well and truly into my personal life, as well). I don’t wish to prattle on in today’s writing, so I’ll attempt to be brief.

I’ve decided to exit my current employment due to concerns for my health and mainly because I simply didn’t enjoy what I was doing. I attend my various Agile ceremonies via the sacred machine, and every time I turn its illustrious display on, I hear these mysterious voices manifest which present me with nothing but problems and stress. Granted, I’ve found many of the problems and stressors to simply be the other people (not necessarily the sacred machine), I’ve decided to exit anyway. I already feel an Atlantean (read, Atlassian) weight lifted from my shoulders (heh).

If the project isn’t delivered on time, no one will die, fall ill or otherwise be harmed in any significant way (aside from the obvious monetary output that would be provided by such a Tech project, such as migration from on-prem to Cloud). I’ve been surrounded by people who are treating projects like these as an X K Class Extinction Event and I simply can’t handle it anymore. I consider myself a level-headed and calm person and I believe I am capable enough to handle stressful situations, but I started wondering why am I expending my resiliency on things I don’t necessarily care about.

I’ve decided to take some time off working for a short while before I pick up the next thing, and to be honest, I don’t even know what that thing is yet. Hell, it’s still a question if I am to remain in Tech at all at this stage, so I may as well share some things I’ve observed over my career that seem to be consistently presented to me.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE

Most people are bad

First one off the bat is, most people I have worked with either aren’t that interested in what they’re doing or they claim to be the greatest gift to Computer Science since Turing. Thing is though, most of them are very bad at their jobs. I do not blame them for this and I am not even upset by this. I do agree a job is a job, but don’t ever do a job where you make someone else miserable as a result. So, if you’re ever in a meeting and you hear someone saying something you don’t understand, there’s a good chance the person saying it doesn’t understand either.

Most companies are run by one or two competent engineers

Another important factor I’ve found here is that they’re often from overseas, are extremely adept and competent at their jobs and are being unfairly treated by their employers due to some Visa loopholes. Unfortunately, I’m not in a position to directly intervene and save the masses from the evil corporate overlords, but if you see this happening at your workplace, the best thing you can do is treat that person like a real human being who has feelings.

Always lie in your CV and Interview, because they’ll do the same

You can read all about this right here, in my previous writings: Your Job is Inherently Wrong

Most jobs in engineering aren’t really engineering problems, they’re people managing problems

I ain’t never had a problem with a computer that I couldn’t fix with some elbow-thermal-paste-grease and a can-do attitude, but I’ve had plenty of issues with bad managers, technical analysts and other staff members like executive leadership.

Every single workplace is a dumpster fire, really, everywhere

I don’t have much else to say about this one, really. But, just be prepared to see things from the beyond that will scar you beyond reckoning and production outages more often than you’d like. Like I always say, there’s nothing so unmoving nor permanent as a band-aid fix. Another good one that applies is the slowest way to do something is to rush to the finish line.

There’s never any time to do anything, including the job

This one has puzzled me for quite some time, as we’re all adults being paid a lot of money to translate the sacred scriptures and force the dark magics of the runes to come to life in various computing environments. However, everywhere I’ve worked has always been “Woa, buddy! I’m flat out! I don’t have time to do that properly. What are you, insane?

Every single manager I’ve worked with (bar one) has had main-character syndrome

“Listen, mate. I know how you’re feeling right now, so please don’t leave us! I need you to know, I’m different to all the other people you’ve worked for, for real!” - if you’re a manager and you’re reading this, just know I don’t have anything against you personally. I just dislike the psychic switch that you turn on when you get to work which turns you into an illogical stress ball. If you’re unable to follow through on a request, just say so! There’s no need to lie about literally everything.

Most people who say “Yeah, I’m actually PRETTY good - heh…” are usually the worst ones in the room

Again, self-explanatory. Don’t take position titles as hard requisite criteria for assessing someone’s competence; simply judge them based on how they do their job. I’ve seen junior engineers absolutely wipe the floor with seniors before. I think the axiom goes something along the lines of fear the gentleman’s wrath - you know, the guy who never brags and is always calm; you just KNOW he’s gonna jiu-jitsu grapple someone to the ground using nothing but ssh and tmux.

shutdown -h now

Wow, I said I was gonna be brief and look what happened! Anyway, if you have read this far - first of all, thank you so much. It really does mean a lot to me and I really appreciate it. If even one person reads this, that has more meaning to me than my 7 year career in Tech. I admit, I probably won’t write again for quite some time. So, if you stumble upon these pages in the far distant future while reading through the backs of your eyelids in some dystopian hell I don’t want to be part of, please, heed my words and just take care of your health.

The job that’s making you miserable usually isn’t worth it and I’m confident you’ll be able to find another one elsewhere (even while searching from your current job!) - and remember, keep your head up! Your soul is your most potent weapon, after all.

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